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March 2010
April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 December 2012
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Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
My own mother doesn't care that my temperature hit 37.7 degrees this morning. Instead, she got all angry with me because I couldn't go to church. What the fuck...She doesn't even want to cook food for me or give me money to buy medicine. All because I was too sick and weak to go to church. She is such a hypocrite. She tries to be a good Catholic and all by forcing my brother and I to go to church every Sunday, but when I asked if there was anything to eat for breakfast, she told me to go to hell.
Her own daughter is in her room with a fever and she doesn't give a damn. It's a good thing I already bought panadol from the shop below the factory yesterday. Why don't I just die in front of her so she can open her eyes and realize and regret. Or will she even regret. I want to move out argh.
I fucking hate it when I catch a fever on a Saturday. Like, OF ALL DAYS. Today I felt like only half my brain was active. The most stupid thing I did today was to put a lot of yoko yoko on my back cuz it had the hot & cold feverish feeling that felt like an ache. I spent the next few hours with a burning back. -.- So I learnt that yoko yoko does not solve every ache.
Why do I always get that hot & cold feeling on my back?? Today everyone told me that they do not get it when they have a fever. I get it every fever! It stings...like, I can't decide if my body is feeling hot or cold. why am I so weird even when having a fever. My head had that usual heavy feeling throughout most of the day (I hope that's normal at least...) and I only managed to edit like 20 photos today?? We really need to finish the inventory asap. So it's easier to show clients who do not have exact props in mind but only in general or themes. We have a a hell load of props and cotumes and facades. We're Singapore'a largest prop house indeed! (: Anyway, like seriously, that guy (you all, esp Dani should know who...) thinks he can get on my good side by agreeing to a huge extent that men are bastards. Wtf deluded. First of all, I certainly do not think ALL men are bastards. -.- Second of all, it just gives me an impression of him being a gay fag. Lastly, it's not working. He's so not appealing to me by doing so. Irritating. Why can't he GIVE IT UP. One moment he's posting emo statuses about Dani, the next trying to somehow impress me. Don't you just hate it when guys cannot make up their minds?? He will never succeed in getting me. P.S: I topped the class for the English essay that I supposedly almost went out of point. 22/30. I swear I think I'm in a class full of idiots lol. They all wrote exactly to the point but some could still fail. Epic. Btw I did name the character in my story Selena. Sorry Nat :P Hehe and I topped the class for English oral as well. (; Only thing was Compre pulled me down. Alot. ): still managed a B tho :D So happy! The last time I actually passed more than half the number of subjects I had was like Sec 1! Now I have passed every subject (& THREE Bs!) for Prelims except Math. It's a great leap , but I gotta work on Math cuz if I fail N'Level Math, the rest of the subjects don't count. Fucking hell right, this system.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
HAPPY 15th Hilary!! My my Hilary...do you have any idea how much you have changed? You've lost so much weight since last year I swear. When I look back at the old pictures from last year...omg. I was doing the inventory just now and I saw a pic of you modeling the peasant costume. and then you came into the office and I was stunned for awhile. Also cuz I got a bit stoned from my fever. Literally wasn't thinking straight the whole day. Anyway, to see a real life comparison between you and a photo of you last year was..wow. Apart from the photos, I cannot pull out any images of you last year from my memory. I cannot even remember! & then there was the epic day where you shocked all of us. I remember crying so badly cuz I was so damn fucking happy for you. We had finally found your use. We didn't have to worry about what you could do in Moody anymore. What's more, you hit us with the shock on the same day we lost that guy. You gave everyone hope. I remember the first sentence I said to you when we first met. "Are you fully chinese?". lol! From that CMI girl who initially didn't make it into the squad to one of the main dancers and veteran of Colours Of Asia. Thank you for wanting this so much that you didn't mind paying for it. We almost didn't meet you. But remember everything that was said today, Hils. You have have made a major improvement. But it's still not close to enough. If you think you're working hard, work harder. I already have many plans for you in Innocence. Plans that will exceed your current boundaries. So do me a favour and work hard for me alright babe? (: Same goes for marketing. Remember all that has been said today. Love you. and yes I posted this late and set the date to 26 Aug :P
Sunday, August 22, 2010
I swear, I have so many ideas for choreography, I just can't wait to show you guys! Although, one of my ideas is only meant for a theatre with the proper lighting and all. The key to my vision for this song "Moonrise" composed by Brian Crain, is lighting. I doubt any one in the world has even done what's in my mind right now. I just closed my eyes and listened to it and it came to me. The whole vision. I want to achieve it one day.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
My mom. She's beautiful ain't she? How did she end up with a loser. Hey guys, changed my blogskin to something simple (I ain't got the time), cuz people were telling me that my blogskin kept lagging on their computers. Today, I think I have a good chance of finally passing Chemistry. But I totally blanked out for Biology ): arghhh. I studied so hard! During the paper, my head felt really heavy and my vision somehow got a bit darker. I couldn't remember all the things I mugged. I had to get through the paper using only my common sense about Bio. Damnit. What is wrong with me! I thought the whole blanking out thing stopped cuz I managed to get through so many papers already! Whyyyyyyyyyyy ):
Monday, August 16, 2010
HAPPY BELATED 18TH HAN! (: sorry couldn't find a nicer pic earlier :D ![]() HAPPY 21ST SAM! the big two one! (: Today, I managed to stop myself before I started again. Well something I saw stopped me. I don't know why because it never affected me before. As I was walking home from school, I had to make a detour because of some construction going on. Then I saw a rag & bone man squeezing the horn to alert residents that he was there looking for old things to buy and sell. I looked at him and it made my heart hurt. I know it may sound dumb to some of you, feeling sad for a stranger. But I always had a soft spot for the elderly. I can never bare seeing elderly being abandoned and suffering. When I saw that old man, I wondered about what his children are doing. Or does he even have children at all. Maybe that's why I can't stand annoying little kids, especially arrogant ones as well. Because they have nothing to complain or whine about. They are still kids. They have parents to feed them, to shelter them. Then somehow my train of thoughts led to how I've been spending my money unnecessarily. I wondered why for awhile but then stopped thinking about it. Then when I got home, realization hit me. I realized the trends of my shopping sprees. Every time my parents get something really expensive for that brat, I splurge on myself. I think, to pamper myself when my parents aren't? I dunno but it's the closest explanation to what I feel. It all came to me when I realized that when my parents got my brother an iPad a few days ago, I'm already all preparing for yet another shopping spree with my piglet. and I told myself, WTH? What the fuck am I doing. I have food. I have shelter. My mom gives me freedom that is already considered a lot compared to what the others are getting. My dad stays out of my life, even tho he causes trouble sometimes, but still he stays away from me and rarely comes home to watch football anymore and that's all I want from him right now. I think he got the hint whenever I kept hiding the ashtray away. I never want to see an ashtray on that table in the living room. That ashtray is so symbolic of him. I don't want to see it. My family may be broken, but I am complete. What a very random day today is. Of all things to make me realize. But don't fret piglet. I won't break my promise. I will still go with you to get the things we wanted to buy. But I will not spend as much I as I said would. It would probably also be the last shopping spree I'm gonna have until after N'levels. It's time to save up. I need to be financially stable to support my parents when they are old and cannot depend on that short fag who's supposed to be a boy. Natalieeeeeeee, I want to somehow include the innocence of the elderly to our baby as well. (:
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Moody Theatre 2009 ![]() Hehe I found some old photos I forgot we even took. I couldn't find the one where I did an up split too! wtf ): anyway....we were such noobs then. Now now don't get too high. We still are! well I just wanna share this video. the boy is inspirational. he tried the first time but he didn't make it. he didn't give up. he came back a year later. look at him now....
Friday, August 6, 2010
Boys, men. all the same. One in my life just caused our door to be splashed with black paint. "O$P$" was scrawled on the wall with red ink Even our unit number was written. For all to see which house was the one that owed money. It was so hard to hold my tears as I walked out of the house for school, with the black paint and vandalism still there. My mom assured me that my dad would come over and clean it up before I got back home. He never even bothered. I came home to see it's still there. The strong spell of paint was killing me. and my heart. He doesn't even live with us any more, yet he still does this to us.
You know, I would't be so hurt if I knew that the person responsible for the vandalising is an old money lender that my dad is still working hard to pay off and amend his old ways. Well too bloody bad for my stupid dream of having a better father. Just two days ago he accidentally sent me a message that I wasn't supposed to see. "Bro, I have money coming in this Friday. which mean I will be going to settle with you on all the toto and 4d outstanding and the recent money I owe you. I would like to buy some 4d. no problem. right?" .........why did he have to say the last sentence. if he was gonna settle the "outstanding", why is our house vandalized. or does that mean he has more than one creditor. why doesn't he bother to come home and clean up his mess. why doesn't it bother him that my mom, brother and I have to go through this. he doesn't even live here any more. is that why. cuz it doesn't affect him. I'm so tired of all the hurt. boys. men. all of them. I just wanna be alone right now.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Saggitarians
Saggitarians:
An unfair accusation or an insult to their honesty also ignites their temper. After their temper has cooled down, they will try to make amends and even apply ointment at the eye they blackened. Sagittarians are rebels at heart and adhering to social norms is not their cup of tea. They love to perform before an audience and usually seek a career in the show business. Travel excites them and religion interests them. Just like a child, a Sagittarius is naive, fearless and optimistic and dislikes responsibilities.
A Saggitarian Woman: A Sagittarius woman lacks tact and her flat, on-the-face statements may make you feeling like running away from her. Then, suddenly, she will say something so charming that you will feel as if you are on the seventh heaven. There, you go again! You will be trapped in her charm once more. Once you have been enamored by a Sagittarius girl, you will be staying with her for a long time. She is pleasant, friendly, outspoken and very talkative. Her forthrightness comes from the fact that she has no illusions about the world. She sees it exactly as it is and says what she sees. At times, you may wish that she were not so honest. But then, she would be like any other girl, wouldn't she? In all probability, you will not like it. A Sagittarian female is very optimistic, but she is not irrational. She will judge the entire situation as per the facts, analyze its probable outcome and still believe that things will get better. Usually, she is very calm and composed. However, when you become rude to her or offend her, she may become like the fire-spitting dragon. Sagittarius women are quite independent and love their freedom. They are attached to their family, but not too much. If you want to get something done from a Sagittarian female, just ask her; don't order. She will never ever do it. She is your better half and don't you dare forget that. On the other hand, she doesn't want a sissy for a husband or boyfriend. He has to be a real man, who has his ego and won't stand for nonsense. So, you will be expected to balance politeness with firmness. I know it's difficult - but then, since when was winning someone easy. With a Sagittarius girl, you will never have to guess. She says what she thinks and how she acts shows what she feels. This bluntness may cost her heavily at times, even to the point of ending the relationship. Still, she would act as if she's not hurt at all and it is just one of the many harmless flirtations she's had. People will even believe all this, while inside she will be weeping and nursing her wounds. All this time, she will be analyzing what went wrong and when. The word 'marriage' makes a Sagittarian female a little nervous and you will need to tempt her in order to make her settle down. She is a little hard to catch and tends to be one of the boys all the time. That doesn't mean she looks or acts like a man! Infact, she is as female as any other girl is. The society and its norms do not matter to her. She can never be the hypocrite that some people are and tend to wiggle a few tongues. Her honesty and brusqueness further add to the negative opinions. Don't be fooled by them. Look deep inside a Sagittarius female and you will find a woman who is so enthusiastic about life and who trusts easily. Infact, this extreme belief makes her heart vulnerable and defenseless. It gets broken too often, but then, she knows how to move on with life. You will be tempted to care for her. It's natural. There are hardly any people who can resist the bright and charming disposition of a Sagittarius girl. She will not be too good with money and will most probably be on the extravagant side. She is very sentimental and emotional, though it seems otherwise. It just that, where her feelings are concerned, she becomes too shy. After marriage, your house will always remain sparkling clean, even if you don't have a maid to do that. She cannot stand sloppiness, it doesn't appeal to her sensibilities. She may not be too good at cooking, but she will also not burn your egg every day. A Sagittarian girl may pass the most sarcastic comments when she is angry, but she will forget the resentment soon enough. Then, she won't understand why are you so upset. As a mother, she will be very friendly with the kids. Infact, she will be more of a chum, than a mom. Only, you will have to teach them to take her bluntness with a pinch of salt. Apart from that, she will be wonderful and make them as independent as she is. She will be a lovely hostess to guests and make them feel at home. Just let her be what she is. Don't try to change her and don't curb her individuality. She will brighten your life with her optimism, boost you with loyalty, trust you blindly and shower her affection on you. She will encourage you to see dreams and help you in making them come true! Saw the website on Nat's blog. It is very accurate! not 100%, but still, really close! You all should see yours! Find the link on Nat's blog (: Yes, maybe I trust some people too blindly. Never ever believe that I am easy to win.
Monday, August 2, 2010
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