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Sunday, September 26, 2010
Maybeline Colour Sensational in Coral Pink. (;
Chanel Teo Xuan Ying. I am so grateful that you posted up that status on Facebook a few months ago about how much you wanted this. You almost never became a Thespian and I shudder at the thought of it. You're thirteen and so mature for your age. You may nee nee na na here and there, but when it comes to work, you know how to switch. You actually do your work. Not to mention, how many thirteen year olds are there in Singapore who are actually thinking about their careers? I know people who are 20 and are still unsure. In fact, I happen to know an 18 year old malay boy who knows what he wants to do as a career but is absolutely, childishly unrealistic. As well as a 17 year old half Jap girl who foolishly gives up everything she's been working for, for 2 years, to become a medicine doctor. Whereas for you, you choose to fight for your dream in a very realistic way. You won't take shortcuts like them.
On your first day, you were asked why you wanted this. Your answer was that you wanted this because you want to pursue a dance career. Upon hearing this, I was afraid you would leave as soon as you find out that what we do is not only dance. There is hard work, sweat and blood as well. I had half my mind sure that once we put you to work around the factory, you would start to lose interest. Then you proved me absolutely wrong. The first day we put you to work, you did it diligently and without a complaint. You were going nee nee na na all the time but you never complained. You were only reacting to all the suaning you were recieving :P
That day, when the both of us went to buy lunch at Prime, I openly told you about all the hard work Thespians have to go through. The hardships, the commitment. I was trying to scare you, but impressively, to no avail. You were not scared at all. I looked at you in the eye and saw no fear at all. I saw only eyes that were ready to fight this battle with us. I spread out everything to you and whenever I asked if you were ready for this kind of commitment and hard work, you looked straight at me and you face told me "bring it on.". That was the day I fell in love with my little piggy. I didn't even scare Nasri that much and his face was already uncertain. But yours, Chanel...the eyes and heart of a real Thespian.
I remember when I told you the story of Afiq. What he did and everything. You were like, "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! HE'S SUCH AN IDIOT!! HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO STUPID!!!!!" and you got all worked up, it was so cute. (:
You know, words cannot fathom how much I love you, dear sis. Yesterday, I thought to myself - if you did not put that single status on your Facebook, Natalie and I would be the only two crying on the parquet when Nadhrah walked out the door. As we were gripping onto each others' hands and mourning for the lost of our sister, I was looking through my tears at you and Natalie. I was just being so grateful that I had two hands to hold. Hands that I know will never leave.
I will die a Thespian. I want us to grow old as Thespians together. I want to be there when you decide to get married. All the Thespians will gang bang your chosen husband for interrogation first to see if he can take care of our piglet. I want to help plan your (probably pink) wedding. I want to meet your children. I want to see your children get married. I want to meet your grandchildren. Thespians for life.
Happy Birthday, my dearest little sister. (:
Saturday, September 25, 2010
This was the very photo I posted when I talked about the first time we got closer. It has only been 6 months.
How could you.....it was only a few months ago that you promised me you will never become like Afiq. It was only a few weeks ago that you promised me you will never become like Anna. It was only a few days ago when you promised me that we will go back to Hua Hin together and back to our beloved hut and we will stock up on Jeloly this time.
You saw how hurt we were when Afiq left. When Anna left. How could you....losing you pains me more than losing that Mat and Anna, to be honest. I miss you. But we cannot have weak Thespians. It pains me, but it also angers me, how I trusted your words. How I trusted that you are not a loser. Today you've proven to me that you are a complete loser. We cried hard today, not for you. But for the wlao monkey we once knew. I should be ashamed for constantly crying now. I honestly can't help it. My heart...it hurts. I loved you like own sister. I will miss your tickling. I will miss your adorable laughter. I will miss all the times you stood up for me. Thank you, for putting another blade in my heart.
When you entered the factory today, I was so happy to see you again. Then we saw your father behind you. Our hearts fell. There was silent tension. We had a hint of what was going to happen, especially when your father told Yan that he wanted to have a talk with her. Nat, Chanel and I looked at each other in panic and fear. We tried to stay strong...right until you came out with your dad and you started to take your bottle from your locker. We realized you were not staying for training. You were about to leave. The 3 of us panicked. We looked at each other wearily. Chanel was the first to have tears welling up in her eyes while Nat and I tried to believe it was not what we think it was. All these were happening without a single word. Our eyes were emoting everything.
You hugged each of us. You gave us a smile. It confused us. Yet somehow we didn't wanna believe it. You looked at me and I could see it in your eyes. Guilt. You knew it would hurt us if we knew for sure that you were about to walk out the door for the last time. So you didn't say a word. As you walked out, the three of us called out to you, finally finding our voices. But you just kept on walking. That was when we turned to Yan and she said "She's gone.". Nat and I broke down. Chanel had already broken down. I wanted to scream. When will it end. We were warned that you would leave, but I was still not prepared for it. I would never be. What are you going to do out there, Nadhrah...
But like the rest of the times, I will soon grow cold to this. I will always miss the memories we had, but I can trust that my heart will harden again. Time will heal it and I will not shed a tear any more about the sister I once had.
What are we gonna tell Petch & Sunee. We will be going back without 4. I swear, we will go back. We will make the money and we will go back. Petch, Sunee and Mdm Patravadi are waiting for us there.
God I'm glad my blog is private. These are some things Singaporeans will never understand.
I gotta stop crying. My body has produced more tears this year than I could ever imagine. That may not be healthy.
The many thoughts it my head as I try to cram Biology. God.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Yours truly, Les Thespians Drama (;
[T]
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
So. Beautiful. @__@
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
the beauty of photography art.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The weakest part of me is my heart. I guess that is why I protect it so much.
Pastel Mint Green ♥
I never get bored of it.
I never get bored of it.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Aw man. Mom's back. Sucks. ): But she did bring back munchkins!! Of which I will try to bring some and share with you guys. I doubt any of you has ever tasted a munchkin! Mommy bought be two bracelets too! Even tho she sucks as choosing clothing, her taste in accessories are the bomb I tell you. I'm so in love with the two bracelets she bought me! Daaayum they made me remember what an awesome shopping place the Philippines is! My brother got himself a pair of red plaid high tops! Wth!! Do you have any idea how hard is it to find something like that in Singapore! GOSH Rachel. You need to saveeeeeeeee. Stop thinking about buying things,
Busy busy busy. The word "busy" may not even apply anymore. So many things are coming our way! Dayuuuuuum, we have the whole SG Flyer! I remember contacting the SG Flyer cuz I knew they were bound to have events to organize. Never did I expect them to reply, giving us THE WHOLE SPACE to help them boost sales. I had only expected them to ask for some decor/equipment for their event! not the whole space!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I love the English N's! So freakin easy! Like, everyone was so scared cuz the prelim paper was so hard. Like, DAAAYUM was the N'Level English papers easyyy!! Especially comprehension, which was usually my weakness! & I'm so happy cuz I managed to put my good vocabulary to good use for composition. I used chimonology to a certain extent. Yes, certain extent only cuz I remembered Sam's advice to keep it simple. I named a character in my story Bridget :D hehehe.
Sigh...why is it that after losing that mat bestfriend I had, I can never have another guy bestie that won't wanna be more than just bestfriends. Like seriously....it really sucks when all I wanna be is the closest of friends because we have so much in common and we get each other and we totally just click. But then they have to ruin it by getting a bit too close and telling me things and talking to me in a way that is just not right as friends. You know what I mean?? Second time already, arghhh. It really, really sucks because I don't wanna lose them as friends, but they just...argh!! What is it about me that they like so much?! I JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS. I blame the sagittarius charm. Does it really take a gay to be my boy bestie. -.- Why am I still hoping to get a replacement boy bestie. This is so stupid. Idiot.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
One down.
I dunno how well I did. But I guess it's passable? I spent an hour on SEQ and was left with only 30min for the whole SBQ. To make it worse I took 15min to answer the first SBQ, so that left me with 15min to answer 3 SBQs. Greeeaaat. My SEQ wasn't the best either. I had all the info ready in my head, but I honestly didn't do my best. My organization of the essay wasn't that good. Well all I can do now is hope.
I gotta clean up my room soon. It always gets so messy during exam periods. Books and notes everywhere. Lol & I realize that I still have one wall to paint. HAHA so stupid, like one wall still different colour. Sigh, I'm very bad at keeping my school stuff organized. My room is literally half neat, half messed up. The part of my room where my wardrobe/accessories/shoes/bags are, is fucking organized. Then I turn around and I see the big mess my school stuff made. Oh god. My room is epic.
and yeeeahh I drew on my wall :P I can't wait to finally update the company website! I'm pretty sure it will play a big part in bringing in more clients. Sending out emails is not hitting much of the market. Therefore, a website for everyone to view is important. Cuz what do Singaporeans do when they need something? They google it.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Spent today mugging Social Studies. I hate feeling as if I'm gonna do well cuz whenever I do, I always get my bubbles burst. It's like the law of attraction, you know what I mean? Buuuuut I think I'm pretty well prepared (;
Today I got hit by "Why didn't I go thru with confirmation?!" I would have gotten a Catholic name ): I would have chosen Bridget or Victoria or Kiara. ): This sucks. I missed Camp Rock 2 because of Social Studies as well. Aw ): I waited a whole year for it. I hope none of you guys watched it cuz I don't want anyone coming up to me at the factory saying "HEY DID YOU WATCH CAMP ROCK 2?!".
Today I also got more inspiration for Innocence. Hehehe I'm so not gonna spill yet. Only my dear scriptwriter will know first. It's gonna be a surprise. :P Seriously I can't wait. Today I also...found new targets for marketing...sourced for epic music for Innocence...(and found one I really liked)... I also read a whole Social Studies chapter in a split (;
So yeah, that's basically how my day went today. Quite fulfilling actually. (:
Tomorrow I get a day of escape from prison. Gonna spend my morning at the factory then head to school in the afternoon for Social Studies class with my teacher til 4pm, then back home to study some more, train inbetween.
Next day, sit for SS paper. Then head to factory. Help whatever I can. Back home by 9pm. Prepare for English paper.
Yepp yepp, got it all planned out.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Just a few months ago, Hil, Nat and I did the same emotional interrogation with that dude. We brought up the sentimental pasts, told him what he would face out there, demanded to know how he lost the passion.....all the same things and questions we asked her. Her answers were heart-wrenchingly similiar, exact even, to his. I couldn't take it any more. Not again. I had to leave the circle and face the other way before I could watch her leave. I couldn't do that again.
Whatever her answer is on Saturday. We're still moving on. We have to. Don't ever forget the big goal.