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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I miss you. and that is an understatement, but I don't know how else I could express it. It feels like a dagger piercing through my heart whenever I think of you. It's so painful, just thinking about how I'm supposed to go through with the rest of my life without you. 
I wanted to go through O's with you. 

I wanted to call you up the minute I receive my results and rejoice with you. 
I wanted to go to Lasalle with you. 
I wanted to have my college experience with you. 
I wanted to tell you all my future secrets.
I wanted you to be the one who inspects the boys first before I gave them a chance.
I wanted you to be at my wedding.
I wanted you to be my first child's god mother.
I wanted to grow old with you.
I wanted to leave this world knowing that you are by my side.
I wanted you to be my sister until the day I die and beyond.

Maybe, the reason why I'm still being a bit resistant to him, no matter how great he is, is because you haven't met him yet. because I can't feel so confident without a thumbs up from you. because that's how much you matter to me. but I can't seem to do anything about it...