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Monday, December 20, 2010

Each ball bears a written wish.

That is at the Marina Bay. People wrote their wishes they have for 2011 on a white ball and set the ball in the water.  It warmed my heart. Look at the number of white balls, so many hopes and dreams.

From now on, I will live life like how I want to. I can't even bothered by all their shit any more. It's pointless because what they are trying to fight for, doesn't exist. Fake fake fake. Lies lies lies. I don't even know what's real about that any more. How do you love and look up to someone who isn't as promised to be. A person may be brilliant, but there is no need to lie about some things to assure people of your brilliance. Lies like paper qualifications, titles...you don't have to hide behind titles to make people love, respect and look up you. Don't you want people to love you for who you really are, not to be loved for who you are not.

I gave and devoted a lot. To a point where I don't even have friends outside now because I had shunned them all away when I gave my devotion to something I had believed in. When I received my N'level results, yeah I did well, but I wanted to cry of sadness. I saw girls running to their group of friends with their results, be it good or bad news. They all hugged, squealed, cried together. But when I took my results slip, I turned around and found no one to run to. No one to squeal about my good results with. All because I spent all my time pushing them away to devote my time to something I had a passion for. But now, light has been shone on everything and now I know... I'm just so glad I'm away from that now.

For the past few days, I feel like I've started breathing again. The air I breathe is fresh. My life is now bigger than the factory space. I've been so suffocated and I didn't even realize it until I got out and breathed fresh air, after so long. Better late, than never.

Nevertheless, that journey wasn't fruitless. I have ended up with people I can totally surrender my trust to and who are genuine, standing by my side. Nevertheless I still have learnt many things, lessons, skills. I have grown so much and I am extremely thankful for that and I would never forget that. Just that from now on, I walk the path I want to.