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Tuesday, February 1, 2011


I swear...the men in my family....bloody hell.

I have the kind of father, who only agreed to attend the family reunion dinner, because my grandfather has only 6 months to live. Before the damn tumour in my grandpa's liver was discovered, my dad was actually willing to spend the money to get my mom, brother and I out of the country just to he has an excuse to not show his face at the reunion dinner. It only takes his father DYING to make him come and see his father

Last night, during the dinner, I saw that my cousin's baby son (in other words my nephew), is now able to walk. Everyone else looked at him with pride and joy of his achievement. While I looked at him with sadness. That poor little boy has a father who is one screwed up man. Knocked up two girls, drankard, obsessive smoker, divorced before his son even turns 2, life in pieces, not doing anything to improve his life...yes, screwed up. Just like HIS father. That poor little boy has a screwed up father (my cousin), an even more screwed up grandfather (my uncle), who has another screwed up brother (my father). It really sucks having to say "my" so many times. My god, they are related to me.

Then I get people telling me that my expectation in guys are too high. Really? You REALLY think so?! I may have only accepted a few out of all the guys who went after me, but after what I've seen, I honestly think I gave too many a chance.

First one confessed his love for me, had a thing with me for awhile, then left me hanging for over a year without a damn word, then finally MIGRATE.

Second one. Oh great, this one. Dated me and another girl at the same time, had a fling with my bestfriend...then after breaking off, tried to make my life hell as if it was MY fault. 

Third one...oh hohoho. Yeah, great guy, handsome, sweet, funny, but...there's always a but isn't there. But after what I've gone through, everyone should know by now that when I say "but", it does not mean anything small nor petty. This one, just doesn't know how to man up when I need him to be. Gets too nervous around me. Many girls would find that adorable or sweet, but I'M NOT LIKE THEM. 


So my expectations still look high to you? Just ONE guy who isn't an ass, or a jerk or a...I don't even know what's the word. Is that too high?! SO SHUT UP.